Today is the last day of clothing month. I am so relieved, but also really sad. I have absolutely LOVED wearing all of the same clothes for the past month. I might cry tomorrow when I wear something new. :( There are many things I have learned throughout this whole month. But most of all, I frankly don't care what others think of me anymore. I have endured so much this month, I can't even explain it all. I hope you've gotten to see a little bit of it as you've been following my blog posts. My favorite part of this month was seeing people's faces when they realize I'm wearing the same thing as the day before; I love to surprise people, and I have definitely surprised some people this month. This month there has been a stress taken off of my shoulders that I can start to feel creeping back on even as I type this. The need to look good and feel confident in ourselves, all through the use of clothes and how we look is horrendous. But frankly friends, people don't care what we look like. The only opinion that should matter to you is your own, and know that you find your worth in GOD and no one else. This month I have felt so at ease with who I am and how I feel about myself. I don't care what others think about me or what they are saying about me. I am secure in who I am and what I believe in. Nothing anyone does or says about me or to me will effect the way I live my life out for God. I used clothes in the past to cover up what I was hiding or feeling. This month, everything was out in the open. I couldn't hide anything or try and cover up the fact that I was still wearing the same clothes that I wore yesterday. And I loved it. There was no way I could cheat, or try and get around the rules. It was one way, and that was it. No one has said anything to me about it, but I know that many people know what I am doing. They don't understand the why part, but they understand that I was doing something. Tomorrow should be interesting. I am nervous though. I am afraid that all of those insecure thoughts and feelings will come rushing back. I don't want that, but it might happen. I can only pray that I will stay this strong with how I feel about myself in the future. I hope you will pray for me too, I'm going to need it. Tomorrow marks a new journey. The time AFTER clothing month; the true test of how I feel about myself and my looks. I'm scared and I don't know how it is all going to play out, but I know that God has it under control. I can't worry about it any longer. I've decided that anytime I think these insecure thoughts, I will stop whatever I am doing, and just pray. I had that cool moment at the beginning of the month where I was feeling like everyone knew that I was wearing the same clothes, and then I prayed, and all of those thoughts went away. From now on, that's what I'm going to do. God's opinion is the only one that matters to me; in Him I find my worth.
Next month is going to be media month. I am cutting a lot of things out of my life. The list includes:
-texting (unless it is faster than making a phone call, ex: one word replies)
-Twitter (I am obsessed and need to take a break)
-movies
-shows on the internet
-radio (this does not include the music that is played at dance, I can't control that)
-TV
-everything else except for phone calls, this blog, and anything that I need for school
I have told my cousin about it and she is joining me for this month. I have kind of kept her in the dark for this whole journey (not my finest moment) just because I thought she would think I was crazy. But it turns out that the moment I told her, she jumped right on board and wanted to do it with me!! I am really excited for this month, especially since I just went a week without my phone, the computer and TV because I got in trouble, (I am clearly not perfect) so I've been doing it for a week already and I know now that it isn't all that hard. In fact, it's been really good for me. I've been able to spend more time with my family and friends, and I've been reading a lot more too. I am really excited, and you guys can join me in any part of my journey as well. I encourage you all to try and cut things out of your life. It's been amazing for me and I know that it can be amazing for you too if you want to try it.
Clothing month is coming to a close, and all I can say is that this month has taught me a lot about myself and how much I really can lean on God for His support and His love. He is the one that fills me up inside, and I am so grateful that I am on this journey for Him. love u guys...xoxo m
No comments:
Post a Comment