Possessions-Day 29

Hey there friends! Happy spring break to you all! I am in Arizona right now with my cousins and aunt and uncle. Just hanging out by the pool! :) Its so gorgeous here! Really hot, but a good change from cold and windy Colorado! So now that I have totally ditched the possessions month (sorry if you missed that, look at the previous post), I am now just going to write about some things that I have learned about what I am supposed to be doing as God's daughter that I have learned while here on spring break.

First off, on day 27, my family and I met up with some of my dad's college friends. They were in Arizona for spring break, like us, and we all met up for dinner. They live in Washington state and I haven't seen them in seven years. (coincidence, I think not!) The last time I saw them, they were on a RV trip across the country and just stopped in for a night. I was 8. Now I'm almost 15. And they have 3 teenage sons. Let's just say, I had a lot of fun! But we went to a baseball game all together during the day, and then we went to a fancy dinner afterwards. They have twin sons who are juniors in high school, a son who is a freshman in high school, and then a daughter who is in 6th grade. So I had lots of friends! :) We got to talk all together and we had a BLAST! It was so easy to just sit and have a conversation with them. I could tell them anything, ask them anything; it was so carefree. I talked to their freshman son a lot, since we are the same age, and we had a good time. When I left dinner though and got back to my aunt and uncle's house, I realized what great men of God those guys were. Once I was in bed, I then sent out a text to my council saying this:

"REALIZATION FROM GOD: ok so today we hung out with some friends of ours who liv in washington and we havnt seen them in 7 yrs..they have twin boys who r jrs, a freshman son & a 6th gr daughter..after visiting with them, I realized that I dont want anyone (guys I mean), I want someone whose going to luv Jesus as much as I do and even more..without Him as the center, the relationship is sure to fail..plz help me stay accountable for only dating guys who luv the Lord..without Him, we would be nowhere..thx for listening and always keeping me in check..luv always, m".

I realized that I wanted to be with someone only if they loved Jesus. I didn't care what they looked like, what activities they were into, as long as they love Jesus, then they have an opportunity to be the one He has already picked out for me. I know that this might sound simple or easy to some of you, but I'm the kind of girl who looks at a guy and immediately thinks to herself, could I be with that guy? Does he like me? It's stupid, but that's in me. I have been trying really hard to just let the Lord take care of all that, but I have been easily sucked in a few times. So after being with these great guys, I realized all that His plans had for me and that they were much greater than I could ever planned or done on my own. And then that next morning, my friend and council member Kelcey texted me saying:

"Hey Macy!!! You know that's so interesting because before even reading your txt I was thinking about that this morning!! I will absolutely keep you accountable for the right guy who really has a deep passion for Jesus and if you would not mind overlooking me on that too that would be great! I'm here for you always and love you!! Xoxo K".

I was so happy to hear this from her, you have no idea! To know that I'm not alone in this thing and that someone else is struggling with the same exact thing was such a relief to hear. So now me and Kelcey are keeping each other accountable for who we pick to date and why. We are just there to support each other, and I love it! I know that all of my other council members would do the same thing too, but it was just nice to hear from Kelc.

Another thing, I absolutely LOVE with a capitol L the Hunger Games. I can't even begin to tell you how much I adore them! I've read all three books and have seen the movie and can't explain what they mean to me exactly, other than the fact that Katniss and her pretend lover Peeta show Christ-like qualities for each other throughout all 3 novels. In the first one, Peeta sacrifices himself so that she can live, in the second she sacrifices herself to save him, and in the third, they both sacrifice themselves so the other can live. There is much more to the plot line, but because of their love for one another, they are willing to die to save the other. That's exactly what Jesus did for us. He died, so that we could live and be sin-free. But we have to accept the relationship. If we don't accept it, then we can't be saved. But if we do accept it, we can have eternal life. That's exactly what Katniss and Peeta do for each other. In the first book, Katniss doesn't want to accept a relationship with Peeta and just pretends to be in love with him, and he still does all he can to save her. By the end of book three though, you see that change and you see her actually fall in love with him, and then they no longer have to sacrifice for the other; they just protect each other naturally and truly do love each other. It's a great metaphor for what Christ did for us. I'm not going to go too much more into it, because I don't want to ruin the books for you, but there are many similarities that I just love. (And don't see the movie until you have read the book..its always better that way!)

That's all I've learned over spring break. And in 3 days I will begin the clothing month! I'm super excited for that month already!! :) My council member Katie is going to be doing it with me for the entire month! I'm so stoked!! Love and miss you all..xoxo m

Possesions-Day 20

I'm sorry to say that I have not given anything (yes, NOTHING) away since I last wrote on here. Nothing. I am clearly not perfect, if you can't tell, and I apologize. This first month has been an epic fail. :/ I wanted to start off strong, but to give things away is so hard. No doubt about it, I have THROWN things away, but giving is much harder. You probably don't have this problem, but I just didn't really want to do this month. I can honestly tell you that at the beginning of this month I was not motivated to give my things away. So I'm sorry that I have been lying to you, telling you how excited I am to be doing this, when really I wasn't. Don't get me wrong though, I am SUPER pumped for next month. Already I have been thinking about what I'm going to wear and what people might think of me. I'm so excited to see how people will look at me (I know that sounds crazy, because people will be giving me such weird looks, but at least I'm getting recognition for HIM!) and how they will treat me; what they will ask me. Let's just say, I have been dreaming about this month since I read the book in February. I'm also really excited because this month some of my council members will be joining me!! :) Katie has already committed to doing it full on with me, and Amanda is doing No Makeup March and into April, so I will have my team behind me 100% (not that they weren't already, they will just be going through exactly what I will be).

It's my sister's birthday today! She turned 12 and thinks she's all that. She and I are on better terms now, not so much fighting anymore. We are pretty much the same person, so we used to fight about which one of us was better, which was stupid, but now I feel that I love her and she's coming around to loving me. She's growing into her own person, and I love watching what God is going to be doing in her life. :) She has the SWEETEST friends ever, and I pray that her friends would stick by her no matter what. That they would trust each other and be able to share their hearts with each other. I never had those kinds of friends until this year, and I pray that she wouldn't have to go through all of those horrible things that I did with friends.

Anyways, I got to tell some of my friends from school the other day about this lovely journey that I'm on. One of them was talking about this guy (whose mom is on my mom's council and their whole family is doing it too) who wouldn't eat these cookies in class because he said he was only eating 7 things for a month. I then got to explain what we are doing and why we are doing it. It was a cool thing to be able to bring it up and say, "Here I am, take me or leave me" and they all decided to stay. I can't wait until next month when I wear the same outfit 4 days in a row and they ask me about it. Lord, I pray that you would give me the wisdom and the right words to say to those girls when they ask me about why I am doing this. I pray that I could show them what living for You looks like and how You have changed my life. I love you and trust in your timing and all that you have planned for me.

Friends, I apologize for my lack of commitment for this month. I haven't been in it, and I'm sorry. I promise next month will be better, and you better keep me accountable. :)

Possessions-Day Ten

For the past ten days I feel as if I have cleaned out almost every thing in my room. It is a great feeling, but kind of nerve racking when I know I still have twenty more days to go. I am now trying to find things all around my house that I can give away, because I know that my sisters don't need all of the things that they still have. (Like beanie babies? I mean, come on.) But I went to youth group last night, and it was really powerful. God has been doing something in my spirit lately that I guess I haven't had time to see, so He decided to make it more grandeur so that I would take notice. I sing up front for my youth services and thought that because God has blessed me with a voice, I should use it. Well it turns out that it's not what I think that matters, but what God thinks. I was standing up front and all of a sudden I realized that my mic wasn't on, which isn't that big of a deal, but this is the third week that it hasn't been on. And I started getting frustrated, and then we started singing this verse:

Today, I'm walking to the beat of your heart
You take me all the way to the start
Stretch your hands, straighten the path
I'm found in open skies
Your heart it lives in mine
Today

And then I started feeling a little bit sick. I can't explain it, but I knew that God was trying to tell me something. All of these set-backs that have been going on with worship, I realized that He was trying to get me to listen. Sometimes I use worship as my excuse to get out of doing what God has called me to do. I think, well I'm singing at youth group so I can't bring people or talk to them about who He is, or something. And when I was standing up there, God was telling me to stop singing and to go preach and speak. I have a calling on my life to go spread the Good News, and I have been avoiding it. I want our youth group to grow and I want to see revival at my school. If I don't step up and do something about it, then it might not ever happen. Last night I realized how much I had been putting God aside to do my thing, while saying it was all in His name, which it wasn't. I have vision for my school, and my leader Lisa told me last night to just relax, because God has it all taken care of. I have three and a half years left at my school to see a change. I can't back down now. God is going to give me opportunities to speak to people about who He is, and I'm excited to share! I can already tell that God is going to do something amazing with my high school, and I can't wait to be a part.
This might not have anything to do with possessions, but it's been on my heart. God's doing something powerful at my school, I can already see it.

Lord, right now I pray that you would bring the right people to my school and that they would have a stirring inside of them, just like me. I pray that you would give me the courage to walk in a new person and to speak your name. I pray that I would come in contact with people who are living for You, so that together we can make a difference. I pray for all of the people that I want to bring to my youth group, that they would see what You are doing in their lives. Give me the wisdom and the words to speak so that they are for Your glory, not my own. And Jesus, I pray that you would show up this week, somehow, somewhere. I want to see You change my school, and without You, it is never going to happen. I love you with all that I am, and I am your faithful servant. Whatever You call me to do, I will listen. You are my all. I love You, and am grateful for all that You have done for me. In Jesus' name I pray, amen.

Possessions-Day 4

So on Friday, which was day 2, Emma from my council came over to my house. She had been planning to come to youth group with me so she could meet all of the other council members. She came over and she helped me clean out my desk beforehand. Now, my desk has always been a mess ever since I got it. It has a really neat story though. I got this desk from my grandma when she moved from her big house into her smaller house. The desk was my grandpa's. My grandpa died when my mom was in college, but he got this desk from when he worked as a professor at the University of Kansas. It was the desk in the library that they gave to him when he left the school. It has only ever been in my grandma's house, but I was lucky enough to receive it when she moved. I was redoing my room at the time and really needed a desk, and my grandma didn't need it anymore, so voila! I got it! Anyways, this desk is really old and the drawer doesn't work very well, but I pile things up on it. I don't have a bookshelf in my room, so I just put everything on my desk. I have so much junk on that desk that I've had for YEARS, and Emma was kind enough to go through it with me. As we were throwing so much crap away, she kept saying things like, "Oh my gosh, you need to come to my house so we can do this in my room" and "I am totally the same way". She was very good at helping me see that I didn't need even a quarter of the things that I was keeping. It took us about an hour just to clean off my desk. We filled 2 trash cans of junk that I did not need at all. After everything got thrown in the trash, there was practically nothing on my desk anymore. It was such a relief to look at my desk and not be overwhelmed with all of that crud. It was an amazing feeling! I know that I wasn't giving anything away, but it still felt good to cut all of that stuff out of my life. I am realizing more and more that I don't necessarily have so many things to give away, but more things to throw away. Because really, who wants all of the programs that I have kept from every show that I've been to? No one except for me. So thank you Emma for helping me throw all of that stuff away. It is greatly appreciated! :) I am finding little things to throw away and I am seeing that this month won't necessarily being giving 7 things away, but getting rid of 7 things every day. My mom will greatly appreciate this month, as she is always trying to get us to throw our junk away. So here's to you Mom; I know your going to love this month much more than me!

Possessions-Day One

Well, today is March 1st and so this crazy journey begins! Last night I got a headstart on my giant giveaway for this month. I went through my closet and came back with 83 items of clothing to give away. I also had a bit of a dilemma with shoes. Do they count as clothing? Or are they their own seperate category? This is important because I am supposed to be giving away 7 items per day. Now clothes only count for 1 week of things, no matter how many over the daily rate I am. So if shoes were to count as clothes, then they have to go this week, but if they're not, then I can give them away later and they can count then. But after calling 3 council members (Emma, Amanda & Kelcey) there seemed to be a consensus. Shoes count as clothing. So they got added into the ginormous pile of things I was giving away. So great, I have given away 83 things. But, my sisters are going through it first, which I guess I am okay with because I would still be giving them away, but I feel weird just giving some of it to my sisters. Isn't that kind of cheating? My mom doesn't seem to think so, but whatever.
On another topic, today I realized something while sitting at my kitchen table eating breakfast before going to school. There is a girl who I sit next to in choir who is just searching for something. I used to get really annoyed with her because she would sing the wrong part, but I've learned to just love her through it. But I see her sometimes at school outside of choir and she seems to be throwing herself onto people. Now, this girl is different than me. She doesn't always brush her hair and she has gaged ears, but she's a good singer and very unique. I don't always think that she's getting into the right things, but that's her choice, not mine. I have no right to judge her. This morning though, I realized that she just wants something more. Guys haven't worked out for her, even though she tries really hard, her looks don't appeal to everyone, causing people to judge her, and her friends aren't exactly the best people. Aren't we all searching, though? Jesus is working in my heart and showing me the people all around me who are just searching for something more. Sometimes they are searching in relationships, in getting good grades, trying to impress people, etc, etc. The list goes on and on. But He is the only one that can fill the need. I wish I had the guts to just say to this girl, "All you need is Jesus", but sadly I don't. So I'm just trying to show her little ways how much He means to me. The same goes for my friends at school who don't believe the same things that I do. Everyday with them seems to be a struggle. I trust in His timing though. His plan is far greater than my own, so I put my complete trust in what He has for me. I want to change my school; I want to see my friends on fire for God. Isaiah 41:10 says, "So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand."

Dear Lord, I pray right now that you would give me the strength to continue on this journey. I pray that you would open up my eyes to those around me who are calling out for you. I pray that I would have the courage to proclaim you as my own and to help change my school for your glory. You are worthy of my praise, Lord, and without you I wouldn't be able to carry on. You are my all and I love you.